No, really, that dress
looks great. Maybe your blind date's
actually blind.



Because December
is too cold for a party.
What are you, crazy?



Thousands surround me,
but I'm alone. Blackberry,
you're my only friend.



So sorry to hear
about your breakup. What are
you doing Friday?



No more white after
Labor Day? So much for my
Strom Thurmond costume.



The humble rat tail:
Proof that God has a sense of
humor, and it's sick.



Candy is dandy
but liquor is better at
getting you fucked up.